Dear Eli

Dear Eli,

Well, here we are. Today is the day. Your mom and I have known this day would come since before you were born. For some time now we have prayed and planned and hoped and cried about this day. There have been so many moments.

There was a night when you were only days old that your mom stayed up in the hospital begging God to save your life. We really thought we might lose you. She never gave up.

The times of having to put a feeding tube down your nose in the middle of the night so you could eat. Ha, and tonight you double fisted pizza and General Cho's Chicken. You have come a long way.

The days of infection when we were back in the hospital.

The having to let you go into open heart surgery wondering if you would come back.

Twice.

The nights after your Glenn surgery when we wondered what your life would look like.

Would you be able to play? to run? to have a normal life? 

The days leading up to this.

You were our "miracle baby" from the start. 

When you were born I was so scared. I didn't know what to expect. 

I was afraid of being hurt. 

I was afraid of both loving and losing.

You.

But now I have you. And I really love you.

These last 3 almost 4 years have been some of the hardest of my life.

They have also been some of the greatest.

I want you to know that your mom and I are so proud of you. 

You are the bravest person I know. 

You trust us completely. 

Even when it hurts you let us do what is best for you. 

You are so contagious.

Everyone I know who is around you for 5 minutes, loves you. 

Young and old. 

You have a lot of friends.

Your family loves you so much. Maggie is such an incredible big sister. 

There will be days that you guys fight, come on, you are brother and sister, but know that she has loved you since before you were born.

Your aunts and uncles, cousins and grandparents all love you ridiculously.

Your grandparents are all for you and want the best for your life.

You asked tonight to call Grandma Carla on the phone. You said you miss her. We all do. She is in heaven. She is cheering for you there like she did here. She loved you wholeheartedly and we will never let you forget that. 

Once again, I have to let you go.

This time is different though. I don't know why exactly. 

Perhaps its because I know how strong you are. 

Perhaps its because I have complete faith in the doctors and nurses. 

Perhaps its because there is an army of people who love you and are praying to God for your life. 

Perhaps because I have had dreams of the future. 

Of beaches, and drum kits, and skateboards, and music festivals.

Of all the things that you love and all the reasons that I love you. 

See you soon buddy.

Love,

 Daddy.