Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I'm here to give you hope.

I can't say I remember much. I remember following a doctor to another doctor's office. I remember looking at Kati and seeing the pain and the unknown in her eyes. I remember feeling the same. I remember texting our parents and giving them the news. We are not sure what it is but something is wrong. I remember sitting in a room while a ultrasound technician takes the longest look again at the heart. I remember thinking what the heck is going on as another doctor came in and looked for what seemed like an eternity. I remember not wanting to make eye contact with Kati for fear I or her or both would lose it in front of these strangers. But what is strange is after all of this I think I remember the voice of Hope more than anything. In Psalms 23 David says it best, "even though I walk throught he valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for You are with me." In this moment of hopelessness, God granted us hope. It came in the form of our nurse, Beth. After meeting Beth and talking to her for about 30 seconds you understand, she was created for this job. After spending 30 minutes with her you start to realize this job was created for her. The first thing Beth says to us is, "I'm here to give you hope". Beth brought Kati and I understanding through pictures and charts. She comforted us with tissues and stories of other families who have walked our road. Most of all she gave us HOPE. Hope that even though this may be the hardest time in our life, we are in great and capable hands.
What seemed like days since we had first gotten our news was only 3 or 4 hours. We had gone from the highest high to the lowest low and now leveled out. We walked to our car talking, crying, questioning, hoping, praying, and wondering what was ahead. The one thing that we knew for sure was that we were having a girl. Oh wait that was wrong. Its a boy!


  1. My heart is always with you both. Life has a crazy way of laying us low. love you guys.


  2. There's not much I feel I can say to such sad and shocking news other than I love you guys and am praying for you with tears pouring out. Your whole family is so close to my heart that,even though distance and seasons keep us from daily relationship, I just want to express ; your battles are my battles. I look forward to meeting sweet Eli. I have a feeling it's Gods wisdom to intrust you with him because you've been found faithful in taking in and caring for the weak to later be released into strength and their destiny, changing their lives forever(I speak out of experience) how much more He can trust you to love and care for this little one .your inner strength and love for each other has always amazed me. I know it's sure to amaze Eli. "I would have lost heart unless I had believed I would see the goodness of The Lord in the land of the living"